by Carrie Debrone
Kitchener Citizen
A generation that values privacy, today’s seniors were raised not to air their ‘dirty laundry’, and when the abuse is caused by a family member or a caregiver and talking about it may bring shame or guilt to the ones they love, or seniors fear they may be taken away from their family if they say anything, many choose instead to keep it secret.
But, Community Justice Initiatives (CJI) has come up with the first program of its kind in the province that can help abused elderly people without asking them to step out of their privacy comfort zone, and it won’t cost them a penny.
CJI’s free, confidential Elder Mediation Service has put the Region of Waterloo on the innovation map again.
At the beginning of last month, the organization received a $225,000 grant from the Trillium Foundation that will be used to deliver the service to more people, train volunteer mediators, continue to develop the service and make it sustainable, and for marketing, equipment and staff.
“We want to make sure that elderly people know they have a place to go when they are being abused without having to go to the police or hire a lawyer to get help. They don’t need to suffer in silence,” said CJI Service Coordinator, Wendy Meek.
The service works like this.
Any person aged 55 or older who believes they have been financially, emotionally, physically, sexually or verbally abused but who do not want to go to the police to press charges against their abuser, can contact the Elder Mediation Service where trained mediators will offer conflict resolution to both the victim and their abuser in a safe, confidential environment. (The service also receives referrals from police).
The mediators meet confidentially with the older person and their abusers to facilitate the process to come up with a plan that addresses the conflict and allows restitution to be made or the concerns of the elderly person addressed and resolved in a positive way. Any agreement reached between the two parties must be acceptable to everyone.
Extensively trained, the service’s volunteer team of 16 mediators may set up peace making circles, use transformative mediation techniques, or develop a conflict resolution plan to aid victims of abuse.
Volunteer mediators come from all walks of life, including; retired teachers, principals, homemakers, students, people with spiritual backgrounds and business people. They will meet seniors in their homes or anywhere the abused person feels safe and, Meek says, they take the time necessary to build a foundation of trust that ensures the process will be successful.
Elder Mediation Services can also refer abused seniors to the variety of community resources available in this region, where they may be able to get additional help.
In addition to abuse, the Elder Mediation Service also offers help in many other areas of concern to older people including Power of Attorney decisions, family dynamics, health care planning, neglect, housing and living arrangements, estate planning, caregiver burnout, retirement, financial concerns and intergenerational relationships.
CJI developed aspects of the service several years ago as it pioneered the program in some of the 20 senior buildings managed by Waterloo Housing.
“Waterloo Housing found that they couldn’t respond to the conflicts they were encountering in their buildings and asked us to help,” said Meek.
CJI now meets with every resident in the region’s senior buildings to let them know about the Elder Mediation Service, and also runs educational workshops on conflict resolution at the senior buildings.
Last year, CJI helped 806 local seniors through mediation and intervention. Now recognized as a successful community service, Elder Mediation Services has had calls from people in Toronto, Kingston, Windsor and Western Canada seeking advice on how to best set up similar programs there.
“We’re very proud of that and now we have the testimonials and statistics to really help other communities build their own elder mediation services,” said Peggy LaFlamme, CJI Volunteer Coordinator,
“Our older population is growing as the Boomers age. One of our goals and hopes is that we can reach every elderly person in the community to tell them about this service,” Meek said.
“The greatest amount of abuse in the elderly that we see these days is financial abuse,” continued LaFlamme. who explained that financial abuse comes in many forms.
It could be a family member who visits their parent in a nursing or retirement home and leaves with money they’ve taken from their purse or wallet. It also happens frequently when children who have been given Power of Attorney over a parent embrace the attitude that they are in charge of their parents’ money and should not have to involve the parent in any financial decision.
“Or, many children believe that using their parent’s money without consent is acceptable and have the attitude that ‘It’s mine anyway,’ “ said LaFlamme.
“In our society older people are not valued. They are not viewed as having wisdom and are often not treated with dignity or respect. Seniors get disregarded in a lot of things. Our out-of-site-out-of-mind mentality is wrong. We really believed that seniors needed a stand alone program like this to address the growing problem of elder abuse,” LaFlamme said.
“In Asian and Native Canadian populations, the elderly are revered, but not here. Here aging is a fear and people do everything they can to delay the aging process,” LaFlamme said.
“We shouldn’t just be sticking people in nursing homes. That’s such a waste of potential. There are so many vibrant seniors who are able and willing to volunteer or work and contribute to society in so many ways – even those who are well into their 80s. It’s amazing to see what they can bring to the table. We must give them that opportunity,” La Flamme said.
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Anyone interested in volun-teering with Community Justice Initiatives or the Elder Mediation Service please contact Peggy LaFlamme, Volunteer Coordinator at 519-744-6549 x208 or email peggyl@cjiwr.com To refer someone or access the service call Wendy Meek, Service Coordinator, 519-744-6549 x106 or email wendym@cjiwr.com.
June is Elder Abuse Month.
COMMUNITY JUSTICE INITIATIVES
Free local Elder Mediation Service the first in Ontario
Free local Elder Mediation Service the first in Ontario
CJI Volunteer Services Coordinator Peggy LaFlamme (left) and CJI Service Coordinator Wendy Meek stand beside a large poster advertising the services offered by the Elder Mediation Service. The first of its kind in Ontario, the Elder Mediation Service also offers older people help with Power of Attorney decisions, family dynamics, health care planning, neglect, housing and living arrangements, estate planning, caregiver burnout, retirement, financial concerns and intergenerational relationships.
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